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Tingo: dictionary of ridiculous words
  ‘She’s a right ‘Bakku-shan’ that one’ Don’t… you’ll ‘Neko-Neko’ it all –up’

 NO IDEA what I’m on about? Don’t worry neither do I!

They’re all phrases for things you didn’t know had (or needed) phrases,

in a new dictionary that’s just come out called The Meaning of Tingo.

 Bakku-shan means a woman who looks better from behind than in front!
 And Neko Neko is to make matters worst with a stupid creative decision. The favourite word of the author, Adam Jacot de Boinod, (He must’ve made his own-name up!?) is Tingo from the Pascuense language of Easter Island, which means to borrow objects from a friend's house, one by one, until there is nothing left.

There’s ‘Mahj’ which is a Persian compliment for when a person looks beautiful after a disease, and other words unlikely to be in a holiday phrase book, include the Indonesian mencolek, which is to touch someone lightly with one finger in order to tease them, or how about the Colombian Spanish tragado como media de cartero, which means to be hopelessly in love - but an exact translation reveals it to be "swallowed like a postman's sock".

SO, let’s make a few of our own up. How about ‘Folperbelch’ – For describing someone who is very drunk and full of rich food after a liquid lunch with lumps that went on too long as was very wrong and is now causing acute digestive concern.

Grasp-Taster: Person who swills drink into mouth and back into glass. (Yeuch)

Shlaterfunction: When a person is inexplicably reminded of hard-core German pornography

Kaplinski: A woman who looks okay from about a 1000 yards, but on closer inspection is a giant headed 80’s throwback complete with stupid sculpted hair, padded shoulders and acrid Atkins breath.

Groat-Lady: Female News Reader (See Kaplinski)

Pig Jiggler: Office worker who is late for work and wants to run, but instead actually walks in a really exaggerated manner to preserve decorum and avoid spilling frothy latte.

Pincherstink: A quietly emitted fart ‘slid out’ in mixed society that absolutely stinks to high heaven
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