939013 fine fellows have paid their respects thus far...
 
 
 
Mick Fucking Jagger
Here's a bit obout Mick Jagger that I did live a few times. Again heavily influenced by Bill Hicks. I even posted this on the Bill Hicks site...Jesus those Bill fans are nasty spiteful little cunts aren't they? Not one of them had a good word. even though I put it up there and explained that I'd 'Borrowed' it from Bill. Alas It cut no ice with those intolerant little shits..So here it is again...

Nige


That old Devil Mick Never Gets No Sympathy (But plenty of Satisfaction)

Have you noticed the way the(British) tabloid press treat Mick Jagger?

It’s always ‘Wrinkly old dinosaur rocker Jagger’ this or ‘Gizzard Necked old cunt’ that…

‘Mick Linked to supermodel’….

‘Mick impregnates Lucy Moran:  Brazilian beauty half his age’….‘

Mick linked to Uma Thurman/Sophie Dahl/Marriella Frostrup’.

‘Old liver lips is at it again’ yada yada.

So, I studied this phenomenon to degree level (which you can do at most modern universities along with ‘Turntable Skills’…) and I’ve come up with an answer that’s startlingly sublime in its simplicity: Ready or not here it is: (drum roll)

 He’s Mick FUCKING Jagger.

He’s supposed to fuck everything that moves. He’s the lead singer with the Rolling Bastard’ Stones for fucks sake. Again?

The Rolling Stones. Mick Jagger. A genuine rock’n’roll living legend and icon. Jumping Jack cocking Flash.

Mick’s an emblem of Bacchus-like rutting and partying, a throwback to Pan and Dionysus. Who would break a butterfly on a wheel? Indeed.

The rest of us can clean the off-road car on a Sunday, pay the mortgage and stick with the wife & kids. Not Mick.

Mick’ll be fucking 19 yr olds when he’s 90, And why not?

Without wanting to belabour the point, he’s MICK SHITTING JAGGER. He’ll be onstage forever, doing that fruity little dance he does. Into infinity and beyond. One night on-stage, Mick will snap clean in half, like a brittle old twig (Rather like the T2000 does in the liquid nitrogen scene in Terminator 2) and Mick will be dead and then we’ll all see what was right there before our eyes.., JAGGER…(Dream sequence)

Little bits of dried desiccated Mick float out over the presidium arch & into the auditorium and people will gag on dried bits of Mick Jagger as they try to ingest him, vainly attempting to imbibe a sliver of Mick’s lithe magnetism to ramp-up their paltry pedestrian lives with a dab of old Snake Hips’ Mojo.

My simple message is this: Let Mick Fuck. He’s 60 years old and he keeps on going. And what does he get from the British press? Ridicule. It’s ageism pure and simple.

Actually it’s ageism mixed with bitter jealousy. We know he ain’t no rebel in fact he’s a right –wing-libertarian, he needn’t be ‘venerated’ and ‘accepted’- & put in a Hall of Fame..like Q readers do with that bag of festering bile Van Morrison, or that bloated imbecile Brian Wilson. If he’s OD’d when he was twenty five he’d be preserved in the aspic of our imagined past and not let us down with his OAP Sex Chair Antics. So, Let’s think of Mick’s life as one big long celebration of music and sex and let the bastard fuck. After all he is, as I tirelessly keep reminding you, the one the only, Mick Fucking/Rutting/Strutting/Preening/Poncey/Proud/Dancing/Romancin’/Jesusing/Jagger.
 
 
Home
Rants
Collective Nouns
Ideas
Broadcasting
Drug Tales
Gallery
Commission Nigel
Contact Nigel
Links
Video Clips





Lost Password?