939006 fine fellows have paid their respects thus far...
 
 
 
Cloning Elvis
  Cloning.

In America, well where else? There is a pressure group that's been set up for one purpose and one purpose only.  Yes, that's why they're called a 'Pressure Group'-Clue in the title and all that.....  anyway....

They want to clone Mr Elvis Aaron Presley.

They want to clone the King, man!

AND They’ve found a woman who’s the proud possessor of a small bit of Elvis’ DNA.

Apparently she worked in a surgery in the early 1960’s when Elvis came in to have a wart removed from his wrist.

She kept the wart and now the cloners want it.

They’re haranguing and barracking the poor woman sayin’

‘Give us the wart lady/step way from the wart’/nothin' to see on this wart'

But. She’s been told by scientists

        ‘No’! You can’t let them clone Elvis from the wart as it's VIRAL DNA: The DNA is corrupted by the wart, it wouldn't be human"...

 So, were the Elvis cloners to succeed in their dastardly evil plan what form might this...this.....‘Viral Elvis’ take?...

How would The Viral Elvis manifest?

Carbon based Bi-pedular or airborne and non corporeal?

And what if one was to come into contact with the Viral Elvis what might happen?

 Well.....You’d probably get an unconscionable urge to eat all the food in the fridge-then to gubb all the drugs in the medicine cabinet-and eventually die of a fucking full on bastarding heart attack straining out a hard constipated little brown turd of Elvis' loveliness right there in the toilet.

What a way to go though eh? DEAD. One minute on the bog taking a dump and ‘pop’ goes your heart.  

                                      …Elvis has left the building”

                       “Flush that, NO! Don’t flush it, sell it on eBay”.


Dying on the toilet. S’Better than dying on stage I suppose. Actually thinking about it, perhaps the Viral Elvis is already out there? That’s the truth behind the so-called ‘ticking time bomb of obesity’ it’s the Viral Elvis infectin' us ALL. ........Thankyouverymuch.......  
 
 
Home
Rants
Collective Nouns
Ideas
Broadcasting
Drug Tales
Gallery
Commission Nigel
Contact Nigel
Links
Video Clips





Lost Password?