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David Essex on Eastenders

David Essex on EastEnders?
Well tickle my pelmetated nightrod with your fascinating eyelash! 

David Essex? Another talent vacuum is buoyed up by public money via Eastenders. Just how untalented, forgotten and well past your sell-by-date do you have to be to get a part on Eastenders.?

It’s like a personal cash-point ATM machine for washed-up failures. Who’s next? Wendy Craig? Jan Leeming? Tony Slatterley? Robin Day? Yootha Joyce and Una Stubbs?

How About Jade Goody playing a shoplifter? (Her profile is too high at the moment, but give it 10 years) Why not just reunite the cast of ‘It Ain’t Half Hot Mum’ or ‘Softly Softly’ and get them on. Eventually they’ll come right-around full circle and get Todd Carty back in when he’s about 66 years old.

I’d LOVE to start a ‘book’ betting on the next long-forgotten-ex-star of stage, screen and Carpet Warehouse is going to show up, ‘disinterred’ on Eastenders. I’d bet Johnny Vaughn has the date firmly marked in his diary. Personally, I’m waiting for Kevin Whatley to turn up as a Northern Kiddie Fiddler.

Slatterly on  Corrrie:

He’s to play a bookie. What are the odds of him lasting more than two weeks?
Perhaps he’s going to make it up as he goes along, like ‘Whose line is it anyway’…
“Eh up pet, comin’ downt’ ‘Rovers for some hilarious improvised comedy scenarios”.

* Actually I always liked Slatterly on Whose Line...his automatic default setting during the improv bits was always set to 'Filth'! *
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