Dumbed Down And Drunk in The Lion Public House Treorchy
I was having a lock -in, a stop on, after hours drinks, in The Lion with about 12 to 15 blokes, when one of them noticed my Brothel Creepers....
"What the fucking fuck are them things on yer feet?’
‘Brothel Creepers’ I’ve liked them since my punk rock days I think they’re aesthetically pleasing.
Jesu, Aesthetically Pleasing? I might as well have owned up to sexualising little children.
Metaphorically the piano playing stopped, well actually, the Beyonce track was yanked off the jukebox, one big necked bloke piped up..
‘Oi, Jeremy Paxman. It’s not Newsnight FUCKING Review; this is a pub, Aesthetically Pleasing? I’m sober now ..thanks a fucking million.
Then another bloke starts
‘Oi, Melvin cunting Bragg… Aesthetically Pleasing? I was thinking about Kelly Fucking Brook...I’ll give you aesthetically cunt cunt cunting pleasing in a fucking minute.
Then from the other end of the bar this tiny malformed midget with muscles AND in the highest pitched voice you’ve ever heard said
‘Oi, Steven Hawking, aesthetically pleasing??? I’ll put you in a fucking wheelchair in a minute’
By which time I was sensing a certain frission of anti-intellectualism so I beat a hasty retreat and hot-footed it back to the Trendy West-End of Glasgow where I felt fairly safe. Glasgow:MURDER CAPITAL of Europe. Yes that's fuckin' right! Glasgow Murder Capital...