Sexy Welshies Party in London:
Last night was the bi-annual 'Sexy Welshy Party' in London
In attendance were the following 'Movers & Shakers' from the Welsh Scene. Look you.
Kim Howells: Speech.....'Let's let them fucking kiddie fiddlers run our fucking schools'
Tom Jones: 'Helping Himself' to the quiche and chicken portions and copiously sweating over the sausage rolls. After Tom farted, the room had to be cleared for 45 minutes and sterilized. It was fucking buzzing, no lie.
Mr Jones was last seen proffering his trademark 'Tom Jones Giant Buttock Array' in the direction of Lembit Opec.
Sian Williams: presenter BBC Breakfast was seen nibbling on a spinach leaf and was later found unconcious after vomitting up several dozen tiny wet limbs.
The Manic Street Preachers and the Stereophonics fighting over which lumpen po-faced drudge of a dull Pub Rock band was to go on first. They later resolved this matter with an ARM WRESTLING Competition.
Super Furry Animals & Gorkys' Zygotic Mynci BOTH tripping on Mushrooms and refusing to speak English. Posh crofting cunts tha they are. Fuck off back to your social work parents.
Rees Ifans and Rob Brydon seen coming out of the gents toilets trying to cover-up their conspicious sniffing and visible erections.
Huw Edwards AND Charlotte Church caught in the 69 position in the ladies. Church had a 'Pebl' mobile phone half-way in her arsecrack and an Embassy Regal on the go.
Maureen from Driving School Holding Court in the GREEN ROOM.
Helen from Big Brother doing a lecture on 'Subverting the Media from Within'
Goldie Looking Chain, Hugging Everyone And Thanking Jesus and God for their Success.
Dame Shirley Bassey covered in some illegal endangered animal pelt, with a publicans' optics measurer attached to her anus excreting a foaming yellowy fluid. Which According to Dame Shirley was all done... 'For a laugh' What a fucking maddie eh?!
er.....that's it........for now.